Week 1 - Fun in LA(X) and Dallas

Amazingly, I finally made it to my hotel in Dallas at 10:35pm (it is Thursday for me still). I have already learned heaps already from the 48hrs that I have been away (or was that more? Dunno... losing count...) and I would like to share some with you, just in case you have never come over here before or have forgotten how things are in the US -


Lesson 1: USA is REALLY big geographically - when you see something on the map that looked the distance from Elwood to the city, IT IS NOT

I had a nice 1 day stopover in LA, where I didn't get to do too much 'cos I lived too far away from all the action. If you ever come over (and can afford it) live somewhere like Santa Monica or Sunset Boulevard (only if you can afford it of course). Redondo Beach is only for keen fishermen (although you can get nice seafood there)!!!


Lesson 2: There is no such thing as public transport system in LA
I thought I would go do some sightseeing to stay awake but I didn't want to catch a taxi (which would have cost me half my body + internal organs). I asked the lady at the reception does she know what bus goes into downtown LA and she looked at me with a mixture of awe and pity.

Then she asked, just to be sure she heard me correctly, "you don't have a car?"


Buses do run, but no one seems to be able to tell me the schedule (I eventually found what they call a Metro stop, but it had no schedule information listed.

I ended up taking those "1 day LA city tour" thing and got to see absolutely everything and nothing - half the time it was the tour guide (who also doubled up as the driver) saying "now look to the left while I turn, there is the Hollywood sign on the hill... right there... oh you've missed it now".


Lesson 3: Carry a roll of $1 with you at all times

They expect you to tip, but you have to time it perfectly, and if you don't (resulting in not tipping, because you weren't ready to hand over the cash), you get frowned on. So always have some dollar bills at hand. 'Cos then they can just say you are a bad tipper or assume you were not happy with the service, and not a rude tourist who doesn't know the rules.


Lesson 4: Make sure you allow upwards of 2.5hr to catch ANY flights from LAX with American Airline (my advice is DON'T)

Officially check-in closes 40 minutes before the flight (that's what it says on the electronic display when you are at the counter). My cousin (in San Fran) recommended leaving about 60-90 minutes beforehand. I left myself 2 hrs (just in case there were complications). I still missed my flight.

I was first lining up in the wrong queue, then when I got to the right queue (incidentally that\'s the SkyCap queue INSIDE the terminal building), I was still in the "wrong" queue.

I stood with my fellow foreign travelers getting impatient and annoyed as we are completely being ignored by the counter staff for about 20 minutes

There were about 10 counters at the terminal and 5 workers behind the counters - 3 actually working at a very slow pace (probably due to all the call and rearrangements they have to make for missed flights), 5 walking around between the counters slowing down the 3 that's working by asking them stuff and distracting them, and then another 2 that just seemed to do nothing but look at the angry crowd and sip water from their water bottles.

Open aggravation (by shouting for attention, or asking them when we are going to get some service, no swearing at anytime) did not help.

By the time it was my turn at the check-in, I have spent 1 hr in that particular queue, missed my flight, and was told the next one was at 11pm (my original flight was at 1:57pm) and you can understand how big my eyes got when I stared at the guy and said "you have gotta be kidding me!". Oh wait; it was my strange Aussie accent and I didn't specify I wanted Dallas, Texas (there is another one in Washington DC).

He quickly called someone on the phone and finally got me on a flight at 2:43pm. I then had to go into a congested X-ray area, where I was lucky enough to be "selected" - oh wait, that actually meant you get chemically checked on every piece of your luggage to slow you right down.

I had to sprint to the very end of the gates to actually get my boarding pass in fear that I might just miss the plane AGAIN!!


Lesson 5: Dallas does not mean "desert, tumbleweed and cowboys"

My flight was landing and I was expecting to see the "Old West" with cactus and tumbleweeds everywhere. Nope. It was overcast, foggy (couldn't have been smog), lots of green shrubs and nice neat houses in rows - hey, it looked like Melbourne, only 100 times bigger!! There were even swimming pools in some backyards.


Lesson 6: Learn your North and South

Being overly adventurous and confident, I decided to drive myself to the hotel from the airport (instead of catching a cab, which I should have!). I looked for a Melway equivalent in the car. There was none.

Ok. So I went and got myself one of those navigation assist gizmo from the rental car place. The Rental agent actually also wrote me some simple instructions. All highways, how hard can it be?

Oh Noo sir-ree. It is more difficult when you are driving on a different side, night time, have no idea where you are going or how far you have to go and trying to understand instruction from Mr. America! It is especially confusing when you have to get off the freeway FROM the RIGHT, and watch out for the direction that says "North I35E" or "South I35E" on the highway.

After 15 minutes and 5 missed turns near the airport trying to get onto the correct highway, I was finally going somewhere. 25 minutes in I saw Dallas City (which was very dazzling and completely blew me away).

I then spent maybe another 20 minutes trying to get to the hotel. I tried about 10 different exits (which were all wrong according to the navigator and subsequently gave me "download error" as a direction) and going back and forth on I35E North, I35E South, I75, I161 (all monstrous highways of 6 lanes with exits left and right).

I thought this is it, just like the National Lampoon vacations where Chevy Chase drove around a roundabout for the entire day in London until gas ran out. I finally gave the Navigation Assist the finger, just picked one exit on the right and stopped at the side to wait for it to "think" and reroute me properly. I swear I must have broken 30 road rules, ranging from not stopping at a stop sign, not giving way at intersection (I didn't know which way to look), turning and cutting across the wrong side of the road to driving like a grandma.

I nearly had tears rolling down my face when the Velet parking guy came and welcome me to the hotel and asked me how I was. I swear I saw something resembling a halo on his head.

Clearly, I need to learn to communicate with my pal the Navigator Assist a bit BETTER before I attempt to drive myself to the client tomorrow morning in perk hour traffic. Please pray for my safe journey. I did take insurance out on the car. I pity the Texans on the road who would have to deal with me...